The "MEN" Rules

[KayaTran]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all number "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, dont expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Dont cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We dont remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on calendar. Remind us frenquently beforehand.

1. Mot guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two days, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows deafault settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scrathed, we do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. U have enough clothes.

1. U have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, i have to sleep on the couch tonite, but did you know we really don't mind taht, it's like camping.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

........this is long times ago.....ban cua COMS send lau roi hom nay moi tiem thay va post len cho women biet la con trai cung co rules ne.....


any comments on the women sing..... am not on no body ........ :P :P

[Old_captain]

<div class='quotetop'>(KayaTran @ May 8 2006, 07:32 PM) [snapback]99675[/snapback]</div>

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all number "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, dont expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Dont cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We dont remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on calendar. Remind us frenquently beforehand.

1. Mot guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two days, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows deafault settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scrathed, we do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. U have enough clothes.

1. U have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, i have to sleep on the couch tonite, but did you know we really don't mind taht, it's like camping.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

........this is long times ago.....ban cua COMS send lau roi hom nay moi tiem thay va post len cho women biet la con trai cung co rules ne.....
any comments on the women sing..... am not on no body ........ :P :P
[/b]

Whao, all rule IS NUMBER ONE !!! ;)

[CryOnMyShoulder]

Yeah... all is # 1 Rule alrite ..... Most of these rules i think its true though ..... :P ....

[Old_captain]

<div class='quotetop'>(CryOnMyShoulder @ May 10 2006, 05:18 PM) [snapback]99928[/snapback]</div>

Yeah... all is # 1 Rule alrite ..... Most of these rules i think its true though ..... :P ....
[/b]

All rules for men are ENDLESS
:P :D

[CryOnMyShoulder]

NO FUTHER COMMENT ............... AM IN THE MIDDLE CAN GIVE ANY COMMENT ...... :P :D

<div class='quotetop'>(CryOnMyShoulder @ May 11 2006, 09:54 AM) [snapback]99998[/snapback]</div>

NO FUTHER COMMENT ............... AM IN THE MIDDLE CAN GIVE ANY COMMENT ...... :P :D
[/b]

what do you mean "the miđle" here ? :P you make me think that you are ... :P

[CryOnMyShoulder]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(m3oc0n @ May 10 2006, 11:30 PM) [snapback]100015[/snapback]</div>

what do you mean "the miđle" here ? :P you make me think that you are ... :P
[/b]

I mean am in the middle of .... girls and guys .... i dont want to be no one side .... nếu ko mấy anh, với sis ăn hiếp Mod mới nữa ..... tooo scare ...... :P

[Old_captain]

<div class='quotetop'>(CryOnMyShoulder @ May 11 2006, 12:03 AM) [snapback]100034[/snapback]</div>

I mean am in the middle of .... girls and guys .... i dont want to be no one side .... nếu ko mấy anh, với sis ăn hiếp Mod mới nữa ..... tooo scare ...... :P
[/b]

Nói khó hỉu wá, midle gì kì zậy taaaaaaaa :lol:
Ai ăn ... hiếp ... COMS zợ ??? :lol:

[CryOnMyShoulder]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Old_captain @ May 11 2006, 10:04 AM) [snapback]100104[/snapback]</div>

Nói khó hỉu wá, midle gì kì zậy taaaaaaaa :lol:
Ai ăn ... hiếp ... COMS zợ ??? :lol:
[/b]

OC thấy COMS ko rành tiếng việt .... thì ăn hiếp em chứ gì ....... not gay or not lesbian ... just in the middle of gurls and guys ......... i'll be the Judge between gurls and guys .... how that sound to you ..... :lol:

[Old_captain]

<div class='quotetop'>(CryOnMyShoulder @ May 11 2006, 11:38 AM) [snapback]100124[/snapback]</div>

OC thấy COMS ko rành tiếng việt .... thì ăn hiếp em chứ gì ....... not gay or not lesbian ... just in the middle of gurls and guys ......... i'll be the Judge between gurls and guys .... how that sound to you ..... :lol:
[/b]

With me, the midle between something is the ...bridge, what kind of bridge do you play ??? :D