The Ten Commandments of Marriage

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The Ten Commandments of Marriage (ST)


Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are
thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100
grand!

Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the
wife is.

Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about something you say. After marriage, he
will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good cook. But, the
law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.

Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry. That
is why the wife treats the husband like toxic waste.


Commandment 10.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that,
he is finished..

*** Bonus Commandment story.

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The
wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But, he leaned
over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The
wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled,



:lol: