Italian English

One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast.
I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast.
she brings me only one piece.
I tell her "I wanna two pieces".
She says "Go to the toilet".
I say "you don't understand me,I wanna two pieces on my plate"
She says to me: "you better not piss on the plate. you sonnawabitch"
I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!!

Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant.
The waitress brings me a spoon and a knief but no fork.
I tell her "I wanna a fork" and she tells me, "everyone wanna fuck".
I tell her, "you don't understand me.... I wanna fork on the table".
She says:"you better not fuck on the table you sonnawabitch".

So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet".
He tells me to go the toilet.
I say "you don't understand I wanna a sheet on my bed"
He says "you better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch".

I go to the check out and the man at the desk says:"Peace on you"
and I say "Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch" I gonna back to Italy!