Making Love Last

[KayaTran]

6 promises that will bring you closer together- for life

1) I vow not to go to bed angry: after a juicy fight, it's tempting to hole up and nurse your grievances, or at least turn your back on your partner and fall asleep in your own little cocoon of misery. But research from the famous "Love Lab" at the University of Washington suggests that making an overture at reconciliation is a much better plan. Psychologist John Gottman, PhD, found that a couple's ability to bridge the gap after a squabble is one of the keys to lasting relationship success. On the other hand, if you really are at fault, an apology is the best possible bridge between two hearts.

2) I vow to keep our romance going-even when I'm not feeling romantic

3) I vow to be honest: vowing to be honest about your feelings promotes intimacy and cuts down on resentment.

4) I vow to stay faithful-even if I'm tempted: although you may have trouble imagining that you or your partner could succumb to a fatal attraction, it happens-a lot. Even though most people say they disapprove of extramarital sex, carefully constructed polls estimate that 28% of married men and 17% of married women have had affairs by their early 50s. It's human nature to feel at least occasional sexual attraction to other people. Acting on those attractions, however, is where this vow comes in. The jealousy and anger that unfaithfulness breeds are the natural enemies of love and commitment.

5) I vow to take care of myself

6) I vow to cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is a kind of mindfulness, a non-judgemental curiosity about what's unfolding each moment for the other person. You cultivate it by listening deeply, without trying to solve each other's problem or butt in with your own story. Just being heard is a great antidote to stress, and it's one of the finest gifts you can give your partner.